Emancipate the Barrel

#squadgoals, lift as you climb.

You've all heard of the crabs-in-the-barrel metaphor? Yea, that's the topic of discussion for today's blog post. This metaphor, as a rather successful black woman for her age, has been rattling in my head all week. Today I want you, a force to be reckoned with, to walk away with one thing in mind: lift as you climb & don't let others keep you down.

For those who are not as familiar with the metaphor, here you go:

A syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.
— Karen Cecile-Wallace, J.D.

Humility vs. pride

 A crown ain't an easy thing to bear.

A crown ain't an easy thing to bear.

This is a constant battle of me. Everyday I pray to God for humility, but lately I have started to see what comes to be when you are way too humble. People try to trip you up. They will have you forgetting the work that you have done to be the incredible person you are, impressing their world on yours.

Don't hustle backwards. While you are playing someone else's workhorse, they will actively turn their heads to not acknowledge your good deeds and services. Don’t let those who are even the closest to you shrink you. You are a giant and giants don’t need to yell and scream to be seen, they just are.

Take pride in yourself and your work, but with style&grace. You don’t have to be flashy to be noticed. Which is why I will continue to pray to God for humility. I never want to be blinded by success because I have witnessed how ugly that can look.

Twirl on your haters

I have quickly found out (and I'm sure you have too) that as you succeed, haters flock. They only appear for one reason and one reason only, jealousy. Well guess what? Envy is the product of a lack of identity. If you know who you are, then what is there to covet?

If you are wondering what you should do in the event that you encounter a hater, especially those closest to you. I say to keep spreading that good energy wherever you move. Treat people right, stay focused on your goal, stay true to you and God. Don't engage the haters, twirl on them. Take responsibility of the energy you keep around you and cut out the bad. *snipsniphoe*

Can Unity Really Last Forever?

It must, if we are to survive. I honestly believe this. That's when it pains me, it truly pains me when I see another black woman trying to pull me or another sister down through her looks or her talk or her walk.

For others it might excite to have haters, I'll be honest when I say it makes me uneasy. It’s okay to disagree, but you can do it with respect, not jealousy. Instead of ridicule, why not mentor and foster development for women whom you see your former self in? 

Love, friendship, and unity have been cast away for greed, independence, and fear. This will not get any better unless we, specifically women of color, reach back and lean on each other.
— Laura Miller, Ebony Magazine

Either we rise together or stay down together. For every backbiting woman you meet, there should be an equally encouraging woman to cancel her out. For every troll and dream crusher, there should be an unconditional supporter anchoring the ship. You shouldn't be afraid of being that healthy anchor for your sister next to you. Humbly speaking, one friend isn’t enough. Now is the time for #squadgoals — a team of ladies, forged to help you succeed and to grow.

empress decree

Be the emancipated crab. Keep people around you who truly care, who truly want to see you succeed, and who truly will check you each and every time that pride gets out of hand. Twirl on your haters instead of engaging them. I know this is harder said than done. Unite with your sisters whenever the chance presents itself. Believe me when I say it brings so much more joy to your life than you can believe. Last of all, be a #carefreeblackgirl and continue to flourish no matter who tries to diminish you.

---The Empress---