Bread, Money and Honey
Freshman year of college, during my pursuit into my illustrious sorority, I attended a 2015 Delta Week event called "Divas to Daughters." This was a panel of black women having a real talk to black female students about love, relationships and success. The memory of all of the intrigued faces in the room and how authentic everyone was in that setting will always stand out to me when I think back on college.
One of the devastating panelist, my now Soror, brought up a topic that still remains the center of conversation for my line sisters and I three years later: whether a man is a bread, money or honey. We always go back and forth about which quality is better than the other and what we hold dear and want in any future man of ours. What do they mean? Well let me explain . . .
Think about the man who always has his hands in something, literally. Whether he is fixing your car, making you dinner, or personally delivering you flowers at work, this guy likes to do things for you himself. He's the mechanic, doctor and cook all in one.
A good way to think of this guy is Orlando from the Tyler Perry movie, Dairy of a Mad Black Woman. In this movie Orlando is a truck driver who tries to help Helen out early on for a mutual friend. They soon cultivate a relationship where he does everything in his power to help her heal from her separation from her husband.
- Love Language: Acts of Service
- Disclaimer: Just because a guy may lean more toward bread doesn't mean he's broke. He just chooses more often than not to do, fix and make for himself rather than buy.
- Others: Hollywood, Queen Sugar; Derek, Obsessed
Now think about the man who always has the latest, greatest and trendiest things. No matter what, his hustle game is strong and he always has money to blow. He'll take you shopping, out to eat, on vacations, anything to make you feel like legit royalty. Usually he is looking to grow the money he has with you so that you both can continue on with this lavish lifestyle you're bound to be living in.
A good way to think of this guy is Ghost from STARZ's Power. In this show, Ghost leads a double life as a club owner and drug dealer. Even though he is not as loving to his wife, he does everything to make his first love, Angela Davis, comfortable and happy. This includes a very fun and expensive escapade to Miami.
- Love Language: Giving Gifts
- Disclaimer: Just because a guy may lean more toward money doesn't mean he is unaffectionate or does not care as much as bread. He just rather drop money on his services and gifts for you.
- Others: Graham, Baggage Claim; Lance, The Best Man
Finally, think about the finest man you've ever seen in your life. He may have already been listed above. This man is super attractive not only to you, but to many others as well. If you feel like you already like him and he hasn't even said a word? Yea, he most likely falls into honey.
A good way to think of this guy is Sheriff Troy from Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? In this movie, Troy is the very attractive local sheriff in the mountains all of the friends are staying in. Even though Sheila tries to set him up with her back-stabbing friend, she later finds comfort in his friendship when her husband leaves her.
- Love Language: Could be a range of things because this category is based purely off of looks.
- Disclaimer: Just because you find a man attractive doesn't mean he is necessarily honey. The key part is that he attracts a lot of bees, not just you.
- Others: Dominic, Think Like A Man; Malik, Girls Trip
So do you recognize any of the qualities in the men you're usually attracted to? Well there is one last rule tied to all of this: a man is usually two and only two of these traits. During the panel, each woman knew exactly which two her husband was. There is no man out here who has all three! So I say, bring this conversation up at brunch or the next time you're hanging with your friends. I'm sure y'all will have plenty to talk about.